my silly days



Life of Pi

The last post was ages ago. The knitting work has been keeping me busy for sure !! But it has come to an end finally. So friends and I went to the cinema. Just grab the last chance to see the very famous Pi which, I know, has already been predominantly popular months ago. 

The film speaks to me a lot and instills aspiration to better myself. It is wise and beautiful. 

Despite the poetic and dreamy nature scenes reminded me some of  Turner‘s paintings, I thought about the tiger a lot. Richard Parker.

Richard Parker is the tiger that Pi had  to co-exist with in the lifeboat. The tiger itself for sure is a huge threat for Pi. Like he said, ‘God made tigers carnivorous’. The tiger can’t be starved.  Otherwise, its ‘last meal would be a skinny vegetarian boy’.

To make his way for survival, Pi trained the tiger. He set conditioning by rewarding water and food. He communicated with the tiger. He saved the tiger from drowning in water. They have been through the stormy turmoil and hopeless frustration. In spite of all the suffer and struggle, Pi managed to live with a tiger. 

To me this story is about the power to co-exist with a seemingly difficult threat.

I think there is the tiger inside me.

Not exactly as life threatening like a tiger but I see my unhealthy emotion and character annoying enough as a threat for the rest of me. SometimesI hated part of myself. I know myself much. I easily lose control of myself.  I scared myself. Many times I have chosen to go into a wrong track. Guilt and heartbreak afterwards. Ever since I have realised  these troublesome character within me, it gets harder to love myself for how a terrible person I considered I am. So I thought these wicked sides of me as a serious personal problem. They are underlying and interfering my life, my self-esteem, my social life, my confidence, my faith, my happiness.I hate it. It made me feel like suffering. Determinded to make a change to get rid of them. I made some effort. Not really successful. Something can hardly get changed.  I came to know how silly I want myself to be perfect.  

But Pi is clever, he lived with a threat. And he told us it is actually the tiger kept him strong enough to survive in an open sea.  Or he would have surrendered and given up life.  It is constant suffer,  struggle and problem solving that saved Pi during the 227 days lost at sea.

Trouble is inevitable. Going through trial and error at times keep one strong. Even as pleasant as the island that Pi was washed ashore on is actually not safe to stay.  The island would eventually consume them. He’d had rather stock the lifeboat with food and sail again. Back to the uncertain open sea. Afterall, living is more than just eating and existing.

I think the sense of content comes from growth. To know myself more. But not to be shivering in fear by the unexpected. Some unhealthy emotion and character is never going away.  It is the tiger. It is not easy. It is a trouble. But I am not leaving it behind. I have to co-exist with it —in hope of it will keep my will strong and grow. Train this inner tiger and communicate with it.  One day I will master it and the strength is from the struggle.  
Sun Setting over a Lake circa 1840 by Joseph Mallord William Turner 1775-1851
A sun set painting from JMW Turner.

An experience of culture from Germany, Finland …and of course Denmark.
It is a Copenhagen trip.

Very funny when team German insisted on getting German bread for breakfast and said,” no Swedish sweet bread please…” . Team Finland likes mild cheese for breakfast. Team German has been so thoughtful that brought along a lot of typical German Christmas food to share but they added, ”a bit too sweet for breakfast.” Team Finland were playful and has come up with this ‘dancing at the bus stops’ ( everytime we have to wait so long for a bus and it was snowing!!)  We played music, moved, excisised, burnt calories, 15 minutes passed and then the bus came…!!!